Rules For a Subway Rider

It's happened twice in the last two weeks. These things have tortured me on two different occasions. Both occasions involving older men, finger nails, the subway and that horrid noise. I cringe at the thought!

Alissa said it best this morning... when I arrived at work to tell her the horror story of my morning commute, yet again. If it's something you can do in the bathroom, it should Never be done in public! And yes this fits in the bathroom category, cutting nails is strictly to be kept in the bathroom.

I couldn't believe it this morning. The man's wife was sitting right there with him, dressed up in fancy clothes and high healed shoes. What was she thinking letting her husband get away with this? I cringed each clip he made. I tried not to focus on that dreadful sound. I cursed myself for not having my iPod. So... in attempt to keep myself distracted (unsuccessfully) I wrote my 5 rules for a subway rider.

1. No clipping of nails ON or NEAR the subway. This means no clipping when your waiting on the platform for the next train, and no clipping when your riding the subway. (This is directed at older gentlemen... 2 in one week... and both in the Pacific St.-Atlantic St. vicinity.)

2. Bags don't need seats. Sure, give your bag a seat if you're on an empty train, but otherwise, you won't be hurting your bag's feelings if you put it on your lap of between your feet. There is NO reason for someone to take up an extra seat on a train with people standing.

3. The morning talking volume is Mute. No talking. Sorry. It's early. I don't want to hear you. Start talking at lunch time. (This is mostly directed at teenagers, as they are usually the chatters...)

4. Take your trash with you when you leave the subway. If you have hands enough to carry it on the subway, then use those hands of yours to carry it off the subway (trash cans are most likely lining your walk to the exit!) Parents, you need to make sure you're helping your children abide by this rule too. Or at least pick up after them.

5. Don't sleep on people. If you are so tired that you can't sit up (I know how you feel) then get a window seat or one by a rail... Strangers don't usually enjoy being your pillow. (Happened to me twice and I'm pretty sure it was the same guy both times... can't say I've been watching for that guy to make sure it doesn't happen again, because I'm usually passed out myself... not against strangers. I'm the one drooling with my head against the window.)

*Side note: Maybe it's because of how I'm feeling this week, but I'm a bit perturbed at the public transit this week. (Not enough to want a car myself... just enough to notice.) The trains are slower. The bus waited for me to run half way down the block almost to the door, just to shut their doors and pull of the curb this morning. Some woman made sure her bag was nice and cozy on the seat I should have been sitting on. People don't know how to line up when getting on a bus (at least not the people in the Bronx...) And not to mention the story Seth came home with yesterday from his subway ride...