Sofia's Birthing Story

I wanted to record the story of Sofia's birth, mostly for myself and her, but also because I think other mamas and mamas-to-be might appreciate it (I know I enjoyed reading and hearing the stories of some close friends while I was pregnant.)

Sofia was late - 16 days late. At 14 days I really started worrying about what was ahead as far as induction (& everyone started asking, which didn't necessarily help keep my fears at bay). I began preparing myself for a birth that would be 100% different than I had wanted, prepared for, dreamed of, intended to have. I was prepared for the potential of a medicine induced hospital birth, but still hoped my body would kick into gear and birth naturally - the way women were created to birth. I continued to push myself to trust my body. I had done so much to prepare myself for the work I was to do. I had spent so much time taking care of my body, my emotional well-being, and my mind throughout the pregnancy. And as crazy as it might sound, I was looking forward to the sensations of labor and birth. I couldn't wait for my baby to be placed on my chest the moment after she was born after the intense laboring that I was sure would have been needed to get her there. It was the prize at the end of the journey I had my sights set on. (Just a note... Some women feel defensive of their choice to use medication when I explain why I am not. I am not trying to judge anyone's choices. We do what we need to do to get our babies here, and as long as you and babe are healthy, isn't that most important? Who knows, if I had been in a hospital setting where pain relief was an option, I might have asked for it in the midst of the pain. It was important enough for me not to have so I made sure I was in a situation where it wasn't even an option. My situation (the amazing birthing center) is not available to many women I know. I am lucky to have birthed in a place where it was available to me.)

As I have written previously, the midwives suggested various alternative routes in attempts to induce labor. I was eager to try some of them, including acupuncture, breast pumping with cotton root tincture, walking, and various others. I don't know if any of those actually made my labor start or if it just started on its own. The acupuncture definitely caused Braxton Hicks contractions during the sessions and could even be the cause for the pre-labor contractions that started picking up in the evenings after I started my acupuncture sessions. While I didn't love acupuncture (I might have to give it another try for a less intense reason), I'd do it again if a future birth were late. I'd even consider it if I were to get the morning sickness and heartburn like I did with Little Miss. Maybe it was the breast pump. Seth and I went to buy it on Tuesday. I pumped two times on Wednesday for an hour each while taking a dropper-full of cotton root tincture every 15 minutes. Then labor started that night. So maybe that was the kick start my body needed?? I climbed stairs at the park in the rain. I tried spicy food (& all I got from that was horrendous heartburn that kept me awake through the night - won't try that again!). I drank raspberry leaf tea - which I'll start drinking a little earlier next time. I did yoga 2-3 times a week. This overly pregnant mama could do a killer Eagle pose and Warrior III pose, not to mention some deep squats that should have coaxed Baby even deeper into my pelvis (not that she could go much lower, she'd been resting so deep for quite a while). One other thing, I have mentioned previously, was to have my membranes swept and my cervix dilated to 3-4 cm and pulled forward by my midwife. Who knows of these alternative routes for induction made any difference or not. I'd do them all again to encourage the natural birth I wanted.

The 'Last' resort, the one that I wasn't wanting to do but would have highly considered as a way to stay out of the hospital and away from pitocin, was castor oil. I had done some research and it seemed 50/50 for other women. 50% said they'd do it again while the other 50% said absolutely not. What a miserable place it would be to be the 50% that it didn't do it for. I also heard about black and blue cohosh, which is said to induce labor. I wasn't so sure about the blue cohosh part of it though (probably would have only done black cohosh if it came down to it). The blue cohosh has been linked with (if I remember right) heart problems in newborns (& if not that something equally unappealing). Luckily, labor started before these conversations were needed!

Now to the start. I imagined I'd wake to contractions starting in the night (maybe an image that came from one of my Grandma's stories of her labor starting in the night). We went to bed Wednesday night (Halloween) as usual. With each night I knew we were getting closer and closer to meeting our sweet girl, however she was coming into the world. There had been contractions of and on since Friday, but they always faded to nothing. At 2:20 am when I woke to what I thought might be a contraction, I also knew it may just be a very cramped bladder. After using the bathroom, I stood in the kitchen eating a Greek yogurt wondering if my labor was starting, getting a little excited, but convincing myself I needed to go back to sleep if possible. I crawled back into bed but didn't wake Seth. I wanted to make sure I had something to tell him, and I didn't want to jinx it! For 2 hours my contractions came about 10-15 minutes apart, lasting around 30 seconds. At 4:30, when Seth's alarm went off, I told him. (He wished I'd have woken him sooner...) Then I called my mother who was at the airport getting ready to board her flight to Portland. I explained that we'd keep her updated but we may need her to take a taxi if the labor came on quickly. I held off contacting the midwives for a few more hours. Again, I wanted to make sure I had something legit to tell them. They encouraged me to rest as much as possible as I continued to labor. Seth ended up working from home so he'd be close to me if I needed him.

I spent part of the morning in bed, part getting things ready, and the other part going on a walk to New Seasons to get something (I can't remember!) Little One didn't come before Mom arrived, so Seth and I were able to pick her up at the airport.

It was raining, but that didn't stop Mom and I from heading out for a long walk in the park. On the way back, we stopped for black licorice (it's supposed to induce labor so I thought as a little encouragement it'd give me the perfect excuse to eat my favorite candy!) I laid down again for a small nap, which slowed my contractions. And then Mom and I headed upstairs to see Jac, Phoenix, and Zia. Zia got a last love on my belly and one last time playing with my poked out belly button. I spent the time laying on their lounger and enjoying the distraction. The guys came home and we made plans to have dinner with them at their place, but after going back downstairs, we realized that Seth and I wouldn't be joining them upstairs for dinner. My contractions were picking up. Seth and I hung out in the living room, me bouncing a bit on the exercise ball, Seth applying counter pressure during contractions, watching 30 Rock.

I had been recording my contractions in an ap on my phone. They were getting closer together and lasting longer. There came a point when they really seemed to pick up, maybe around 8 or 9 pm (this is when I start to lose track of time). And then I started to throw up with each contraction. We called the midwives and they sent the apprentice midwife to our house to check on us. Seth and I were both ready to go to the birthing center even though they typically don't take first time moms in until the contractions are 3 minutes apart lasting a minute for an hour. We were close but not quite there. They gave us the option to go in anyway and we took it. I remember the time in the car was around 10:30 pm. That was the last time I was aware of the time until early morning.

I labored through the night in the Lili room with Seth as my supporter. The midwives were in and out of the room throughout the night. I thought I would want to have one of them there at all times, but it didn't seem to matter to me if they were there or not. Seth, however wished they were there a little more for times when we needed something but he couldn't leave me. I know I could not have done it without Seth. He was amazing. Prior to labor he was really afraid that in the pain I'd yell at him or get really cranky with him, but there was none of that. There was no way I could have. My focus and my energy were consumed. Plus he was doing everything he could to help me. There were multiple times when I thought he must be uncomfortable, but he let me do whatever I needed to do. If I needed to lean on him, he let me. If I needed to squeeze his shoulders, so be it. If I needed him to hold me, he would. If I needed him to just be there, he sat patiently beside me waiting for my next request. Between each contraction, he held up water or Recharge so I would stay hydrated.

They gave me a homeopathic that made the vomiting stop. I remember sleeping some between contractions. Laying down was not an ideal position but I was desperate for rest. I vocalized most of the night. It's amazing what a low om does to ease the pain in a contraction. I spent some time in water. When I got in, I laid back.... right into a burning candle and caught my hair on fire!! Seth quickly put it out. I didn't even care though. I was meeting my little girl soon! The whole room smelled of burnt hair and it reminded me of when I was in middle school and worked at a chicken farm (the only girl that did) and we had to catch the chickens to cage them for shipping out. They'd burn the points off their beaks before putting them in the cages. Burnt hair smells much like the smell of those burnt beaks. (You couldn't even tell that my hair had been burnt by the way... I didn't know this until a couple days after when I finally combed it for a shower.)

All of my preparation (yoga practice, birthing class, and reading) helped me with the contractions. The midwives were encouraging too - with each contraction completed, they'd remind me to breathe and let it go. That was my mantra as I'd come out of the contraction. Let it go. Towards the end, I began reminding myself that I could do this. I'd read about the stage that women get to where they think they can't do it, where they feel like giving up. While I felt a little of this and even vocalized once or twice that I wasn't sure about it all, I didn't feel it to the extreme that I thought I would. And even more, in the back of my mind, I still knew that I COULD do it.

Around 4:30 am, I started pushing. It felt like I pushed forever. Part of my pushing was probably quite inefficient pushing. I think I was using too much energy and not actually bearing down the way I should have. Maybe my body wasn't really ready to push - I had been encouraged to begin pushing by my midwife and maybe my body wasn't actually ready for it. Or maybe pushing effectively isn't something that comes natural (for me at least). At this point, I remember wishing I could just shut off labor for a few hours so I could take a nap. I was feeling quite exhausted, yet I knew I must go on. The other part that made it seem like it was going on forever was that my water never broke and before I could push the baby out, I had to break the water. I got to the point where I just wanted them to break my water. One of my midwives was going to help me, but I had to move to the bed. Before going, I had one more contraction and that was the one that broke the water. I was relieved that my body took care of it, and we didn't have to do the intervention (although I was 100% willing to do that intervention!)

I moved to the bed for the last part of labor. Before going into labor, I had not envision myself birthing our little girl on the bed, but I needed some help and this was the best way for my midwives to help me. The pushing got really intense and being on my back started cutting some oxygen to the baby and lowering the heart rate. I ended up being put on oxygen between contractions. Seth would hold the oxygen mask to my face for me. Seth said I was pushing so hard that I was turning blue/purple (hard to imagine what that looked like!). I know he was a bit freaked out by this point, just wanting to make sure that we were both okay. The oxygen was more for the baby than for me. Since I was on my back (although they kept propping me up to be somewhat on my side), the blood flow to the baby was being cut a bit.

I remember seeing the sun come up between the cracks of the window and blinds. I remember the way I kept thinking this is the push that gets the baby's head out. I remember the midwives mentioning the hair on the baby's head. They asked if I wanted to see the head. I said no. I needed to focus only on my task. I'd see the baby soon enough. Getting her head out took longer than I had imagined. I think I had secretly hoped for a quick push - you know those women who push for 5 minutes and boom, baby is here! It was totally a work in progress... Finally came the push that released the head. The rest was a quick and quite motivated push and out came baby. We later found out that it took so long because my tissues needed to stretch. The midwife said she actually contemplated an episiotomy (& she's never done one before - not something she does). She said had I been in a hospital there was a 90% chance I'd have had one. (Honestly, had I been at a hospital, I'd probably have been induced before that point.) I tore a bit, but it was quite minor and didn't requiring any suturing. I am lucky for that considering that, at one point, my midwives thought I needed an episiotomy to get the baby out. With their help and patience, my body did what it needed to and without causing too much damage.

Sofia was immediately placed on my chest. I couldn't have imagined a more beautiful moment. Seth saw her sweet face first. I only had a view of the top of her head (which indeed was full of hair - with curls!) I remember the intense wave of relief, of calmness that swept my body. The only words I think I could speak were, "Oh my gawd" and "I love you" over and over (I also said, moments after giving birth, that I'd definitely do it again). I cannot quite describe the moment, but it was definitely one of my favorite moments with Seth. Our baby girl was born. Our first child. That moment when everything in our lives completely changed. At that moment, we started functioning a different way. The wiring inside of us was rerouted and wired differently. Our thinking, priorities, cares... all of it changed.

After Sofia was born, we spent time with her laying in bed. Seth cut her umbilical cord. She began nursing for the first time. She was born with a little more fluid in her lungs than normal so she had to get a little special treatment from one of the midwives (looked like a back pat/massage maybe) to help get the fluid out. And then she was given back to us for skin-to-skin time. An hour or so later, the midwives did the newborn check-up. Sofia was weighed (7 pounds, 13 ounces) and measured (20.25 inches long). She was given eye drops and her vitamin K shot. They checked all of her and recorded it on a paper. Everything checked out great. They took some of the information and measurements to find out that she was 42 weeks for her gestational age. Our little girl's due date was not miscalculated, she just wanted to stay in a bit longer. Probably to grow and develop a little more. (Which reminds me, when she was born, there was meconium in the fluid. If I had taken Castor Oil, I would have thought this was a side effect of that and been worried. The midwives said it wasn't anything to worry about though, just something that happens when a baby is so overdue.) Later, one of the midwives came back to give us a "tour" of the placenta, meaning she went over the parts of the placenta with us. It was amazing seeing the life-giving organ that my body created in order to nurture our daughter through the pregnancy. We saw the inside of the placenta that had the "tree of life" made from the veins. (I know this will seem weird to some people, but I actually like that we were given the option and that we took it). I was told that my placenta was actually quite large (maybe the largest the midwives had seen) and the umbilical cord was extremely long (maybe the longest some of them had seen too). After the "tour" my placenta was stored away to be picked up for placenta encapsulation (& so far, I'd say it's working... I've been a bit emotional but I am pretty sure I haven't much had the so-called baby blues).

Not too much later, we ordered breakfast and feasted in bed. We were cared for by a postpartum doula for the rest of the day and into the next. Our postpartum doulas were amazing. We had a total of 4 and loved each one of them. They helped with the baby, changed our sheets, helped me get around when I needed to, helped with breastfeeding, got us food and drinks, soothed the baby when she was crying, and checked on us throughout our time there. Our job was to relax in bed and enjoy our little one together, which is exactly what we did. We took turns holding her to our chests, snoozing, staring, smiling, falling deeper in love with each other and with our new baby girl.

Sofia had her first guest late Friday afternoon. Her nana (my mom) came to see her. Many other family members and friends texted and called. We even video chatted with her Uncle Ian and Aunt Kendra. We sent photos and emails out to share the face of our beautiful daughter.

We did have a scare that evening, at least for these new parents. As I had mentioned before, she had fluid left in her lungs. It was cleared out of her lungs, according to the midwives and doulas based on their check ups. Yet, she was spitting up some stuff and sounded congested. The doulas took her into the bathroom of another room where there was a shower and gave her a steam treatment. This did help some. Our night doula also took Sofia for about 6 hours so we could get some sleep. This was especially helpful considering we hadn't had much sleep in the past 24-48 hours! We did rest with her on our chest, but that was completely new to us - having a newborn on your chest makes it difficult to sleep. (Plus, when you have a newborn right there, you really can't sleep cause you just want to watch her... I still feel that way 2 weeks later!)

The next morning, two of our midwives came back for our one day check up. Everything was good, and we were set to leave early afternoon to head home. I was ready to go home, but I did enjoy being taken care of at the birthing center. I loved our room, the Lili room. There was a magnificent photo of a lily flower and lily pads in water above the tub. In the day, it looked like a regular photo. In the night (& at first I thought maybe it had just been something I had noticed in labor - like an allusion... but indeed it appeared again the next night) the photo seemed 3D, as if the flowers and lily pads were coming out of the photo. I'm not sure what it is about that photo, but I'll never forget how I focused on it through labor and admired through Sofia's first night. I loved having someone take care of us, and since we were the only ones in the house, we had the doulas all to ourselves. Alma Midwifery was the absolute best place I could imagine birthing. I hope that I have all my future children with them!

Our birth was perfect. Afterwards, I felt as if I had conquered something beyond great. I knew I could do it, I just needed to do it before I celebrated! I, of course, didn't do it alone and couldn't have done it without Seth. He is modest about how much he helped me, but I truly couldn't have made it through the night and into that early morning without his support. He did everything I needed him to do to help me through the contractions and the pushing. The midwives complimented our teamwork multiple times and they were right, we really did work together. Seth is an amazing partner during birth, I am so lucky to have him as my partner in life, and sweet Sofia has no idea how lucky she is to have him as her father!

Introducing Little Miss Sofia BryAnn

We welcomed sweet Sofia BryAnn into the world Friday, November 2nd at 8:10 a.m. She weighed 7 pounds and 13 ounces and is 20 and 1/4 inches long. Baby, Mama, and Daddy are all doing well. Mama and Daddy cannot believe how in love they are and are still shocked by their amazing, beautiful baby girl. 

Sofia's first visitor. Nana Becky came to meet sweet Sofia. She flew in Thursday morning, and we are happy that she didn't have to wait too long to meet her new baby granddaughter (I was getting a little worried!!)

Our new family photo. We two turned into three, and we couldn't be happier.

I can't wait to share more about her birth, but for now, I just wanted to get photos up for family that lives so far away and isn't so lucky to get to stare at this beautiful baby non-stop like her parents! 

Today's Letter

I know I just posted last week's photo with a letter to Baby, but I have a few things to add, so listen up Little One!

Dear Baby,

• Your nana is coming tomorrow at 10 a.m. She'd really like to have as much time cuddling you as possible, so you should probably get here ASAP. And while I'm sure she'll be happy to spend some quality time with your mama, she's really coming for YOU. So be sweet and come on out.
• Your great Uncle Gary wants you to show up tomorrow. He says that November 1st is an AWESOME day to be born (he's a bit biased because he's born on that day), and while I'm still not convinced that you should share his name (Uncle for the first name and Gary for the middle name), I would be COMPLETELY happy with you sharing his birthday!! He's a pretty great guy, and it would be quite special if you had the same birthday as he does! 
• Your mama is getting bored. I know I may look back on this time and think to myself, "What in the world was I in such a rush for?!" but I don't feel that way now. I am so incredibly excited to see you, to hold you, to kiss you, to watch you grow into a little person (and someday a big person). I can't wait to watch you and your father. He's beyond excited too! And I'm really ready to stop thinking that each little thing in my body might be a sign of you coming! 
• And while I have just mentioned 4 of us that are super excited for you, TRUST ME, THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE WHO ARE WONDERING WHERE IN THE WORLD YOU ARE! Each day, we get messages, texts, emails, phone calls of your caring family members and our dear friends checking in to see about you. They are dying to know if you are a boy or a girl. They can't wait to hear your name. They want to see your sweet little face. They want to know that you made it safely and that you are a healthy little baby. 
• Your daddy is so excited that I can't even call him on the phone at work without a text warning prior... He gets so disappointed if I do and there's no news of your impending arrival. So please, let's get this going so we can make the call he's so incredibly excited to get! 
• And you've made your point. You're going to come when you want. I'll remember this as you grow up. (You're teaching me about control... Mama needs to remember that she can't control everything ;) October wasn't the month of choice for you (November is good too - some great people were born in November - including your father!) Good thing we didn't buy the birthstone for October for mama like we had planned... ;) And you are also teaching us a lesson - kids cost more than we had anticipated. So, while you would have saved us some money by coming in October  (hopefully you aunt and uncle don't mind having renters for a more extended time ;),  we are more than happy for you to come in November.
• Heck, if you really want to, just come today, even though it's Halloween. 

Love,

Mama

PS: Your cousin, Phoenix, requested that you don't come on the 2nd. That's his birthday. Of course, if you insist, I won't be surprised - if you are anything like his little sister, you'll want to do EVERYTHING he does. He's a pretty cool kid, and I think you are going to really love him! 

41 Weeks

41 weeks 5 days Update

Still pregnant.

We had an appointment with the midwives this afternoon. They ran an NST (some test that monitored the baby's heart rate and movements), and it came back perfectly fine. They were really happy with the results and felt fine about me still being pregnant at this point.

I've started getting questions about induction (usually hospitals would be jumping all over that at this point, I'm sure). We are going to avoid any inductions and hospitals for as long as it is safe for the baby and myself. So, with the tests continuing to come back positive, we aren't looking at hospital inductions at this point. (NOTE TO LITTLE ONE: Mama really doesn't want to be in a hospital if possible, so go ahead and come soon! xoxo)

We did make a plan for some more natural ways of inviting labor. I'll continue to go to acupuncture, either everyday or every other day - feeling more the every other day... If I am still pregnant in a few days, I am going to get a breast pump and use it with a cotton root herbal tincture to see if that can help. And then, Friday, we'll have another NST and discuss the possibility of Castor Oil (although, I'd prefer if this baby would just come before we have to get to that point!) I can birth at the birthing center up to almost 43 weeks, but they'd prefer if I'd go sooner because health risks do increase after 42 weeks. Of course, I'll be monitored so we can catch any of those, and so far, so good as far as health of baby and me.

The baby is still in position and getting even lower than it already was. I remained dilated at 3 cm from last week's appointment. All of our vitals - baby's and mine - are perfectly healthy.

We saw a beautiful newborn baby (boy, I think) at an appointment as we were coming in. We swooned a little, and I felt insane baby envy! I cannot wait to hold this sweet little bundle of baby!!!!

Baby's Still on the Inside

Many are "patiently" waiting (about as patiently as we are) for news on the baby's arrival. I'm serious about being pregnant forever. I don't feel like the end is near... Anymore, I could care less about knowing WHEN the baby is coming, I just want it to go ahead and come NOW. My advice to any first-time mamas... take your due date and add 2 weeks. Then start thinking about going into labor!

Yesterday afternoon was our ultrasound to check the baby's growth since my belly doesn't seem to be growing through the fundal height measurement (like I said the other day, I've measured around 35 weeks since I was 35 weeks and I'm 41 weeks 3 days now...) The ultrasound technician technically couldn't tell us anything, and I wasn't sure if our midwives would get the report going into the weekend, so I had just resigned myself to thinking we'd hear results on Monday at our next appointment. Yet, I was wrong... around 7 p.m. last night, we got a call from one of our midwives letting us know results. (Seriously, I love Alma!)

Baby met 8 out of 8 on the Biophysical Profile. There was enough amniotic fluid and the baby's various body parts were measuring anywhere from 38 and half weeks to 41 and a half weeks. The heart rate was good, and we even watched as the diaphragm moved, showing us the baby was "breathing" in the womb. The baby is WAY low the pelvis, which made it really difficult for the technician to get a view of the head (but we already knew the baby was so low from our appointments). The one "concern" (which would be expected considering I'm 41w3d) was that the placenta has matured. I know that going past your due date the health of the placenta becomes a concern because it could begin to deteriorate. I asked how we would continue to monitor it and was told a few things. First, a senior midwife is going to come in and feel the baby on Monday at our appointment. Second, I need to keep track of the baby's movements during its most active time in the day to make sure it is moving at least 10 times in an hour. Once I hit 42 weeks, we'll discuss what induction might look like if indeed this baby does decide to stay in past 42 weeks. In Oregon, if the baby and mama are healthy, you can legally remain pregnant well over 42 weeks and almost to 43 weeks. 43 weeks is November 7th... I'd prefer if we'd just GET. THE. SHOW. ON. THE. ROAD. (I'm talking to you little one!)

One other thing, the technician calculated an estimate of baby's weight based on the measurements she took, and she said the baby could be around 8 and a half pounds. Quite shocking to both Seth and me! He's saying 7 and a half and I'm still thinking 6 and a half. My midwife said that weight could be off by 2 pounds, and she was okay with a 6 pound baby or a 10 pound baby. We'll be excited to see how big this little one is considering how small I am in comparison to what we expected me to look like at 41+ weeks pregnant!

Two long rainy walks today and loud cheering for the K-State win over Texas Tech will hopefully be enough to push me into labor tonight (wishful thinking... maybe). Otherwise, we'll be hitting the sidewalks again tomorrow, after a session of Yoga in the morning.

Can you tell I'm really ready for the babe to get here?!?

A New Poll - Cast Your Vote

First of all, it's quite a surprise that we've (maybe more me) have been able to keep the baby's gender a secret for almost 20 weeks!! I'm not that great at withholding information... I have this smile that gives it all away (if you know me well enough to recognize it). And although I love the game Bullshit, I am not that great at it because of that damn smile! You'd think I'd have it mastered for the amount of orneriness I have in my OWN family and after years of living with Seth and his own streak!!

So as the days are closing in, and we are getting the last of the phone calls seeing if maybe, just maybe, we'll slip and share the details, I thought it would be fun to put a little poll on the blog. There at the top, you can cast your vote!! We'd love to see what people are thinking our little jujube is. We can't wait to let the cat out of the bag (but that's only happening when the babe is out of the belly). Sooo hurry, get your vote in before the baby comes! Voting ends when the baby decides it ends! 

Almost 41 Week Update

I know how everyone likes a good update, and I definitely like a place to record and share for myself. Today was quite the day. I had my 41 week appointment (tomorrow is the "official" 41 weeks). I feel like there has been a whirlwind since.

We discussed the monitoring that would start at 41 weeks and 3 days (which is technically Saturday, so it's actually starting a day ahead on Friday). Originally, it was just monitoring at the birthing center, but towards the end of the appointment, it changed into something more. I've been measuring (in fundal height) 35 weeks for, well, weeks - pretty much since I was 35 weeks. While I have been getting the recommended 80-100 (usually 100) grams of protein everyday and eating like it's my job on an at least every 2-3 hour schedule (even in the night), and I have been gaining weight, the fundal height doesn't seem to be increasing. This could have a lot to do with my own height and my long torso (as I told the mamas in my knitting circle yesterday, "Finding a shirt long enough for my torso is quite difficult, but holding a baby in my torso is something I can do!") Yet, just to be sure, we've scheduled an ultrasound to check the fetal growth along with all the other things that need to be checked when you reach 41 weeks and 3 days. I had hoped not to do another ultrasound, but for the sake of making sure babe is well, we are, of course, quite willing to get this ultrasound scheduled. Friday, we'll go in for an afternoon appointment to see the images of our little one (unless it is sweet enough to grace us with its presence before Friday).

During the appointment, my midwife also checked my cervix and gave it a bit of encouragement - a membrane sweep and a little pull forward making it dilate to 3 cm (before she did that I don't think it had done much dilating on its own - it was soft and ready, though, and she was able to hook it, which she said she often can't do with first-time mamas). That was a bit intense - I just focused on not tensing any part of my body and breathing through it - exhaling longer than I inhaled. There was a little bird in the mosaic on the wall above the birthing tub that became my point of focus... I was using some of what I had learned and practiced from my prenatal yoga practice. The nice thing about that experience was I knew it would end fairly quickly... but it did make me wonder what I have gotten myself into ;)

Their next recommendation was to start acupuncture to induce labor. I've never done acupuncture before but knew there was a good chance that would be changing if I went past my due date. It has been recommended to do it every 2 days. They recommended Seven Stars Acupuncture for its affordability. I liked them because they were able to get me right in today. I knew it wouldn't be very painful, but it was definitely a bit uncomfortable. The acupuncturist told me not to take my first impression and apply to impressions of all acupuncture experiences. Since he was trying to induce labor, it was a bit more intense than normal (which was fine by me - if it gives my uterus a nice nudge to get to work!) Most of the points in which he inserted needles were acupressure points that we had learned about during our birthing class. He said the points would stimulate the blood flow in the uterus to encourage labor. It was an interesting sensation feeling the needles stimulate the pressure points (?), nerves(?) or muscles(?) (whatever they were stimulating). Some of them were quite uncomfortable - particular one point in my lower back and the one in my left hand. If baby isn't here by Thursday, I'll be heading in for another session. (Oh and one other interesting thing, he took my pulse in many different places around my body - wrists, neck, sides of face, feet - and based off the pulse he explained that he could usually determine the sex of the baby, which he correctly determined! Crazy!!)

I'm off to eat (again) and then walk to the library to get some knitting books. Then I think I'll rest and work on a little K-State knitting project I started for the little one until it's time for me to make dinner.

40 Weeks

Hey Baby

Hey Baby,

Your parents are ready for you to come. After the K-State game tonight (of course)! 

We can't wait to kiss your little toes, and your father can't wait to play play play with you!!! 

Love,

your beyond excited parents

A Birthing "Plan"

One of the books I had read recommended writing out a birthing plan to share with your caregivers. I didn't see this as necessary, because I feel fortunate enough to be birthing in a place that fits exactly what we hope for in a birth. Yet, I thought I'd share some of my hopes for our first birth (kind of inspired by a dear friend who mailed us her 2 birthing stories as a resource and support for preparing for our own upcoming birth).

• We are birthing in a birthing center (as I've mentioned before - it's like a bed and breakfast, and I cannot wait to birth there!) We'll birth at home until we meet the 5-1-1 rule (Contractions 5 minutes apart, last a minute in length for an hour). A midwife may come to our home to check on us or we will just wait to be checked when we arrive at Alma. I plan to have a small glass of wine, maybe take a bath, and try to get some sleep when I realize I am going into labor.
• We understand that if we need to go to a hospital (which does happen, but rarely, and is MOST often NOT an immediate emergency), we'll go to one that the midwives have a great working relationship with. I also know that if this does happen (as much as I don't want it to), that it is because it needs to. I completely trust the judgement of our midwives and will do as they recommend in order to have a healthy baby and a safe birth. Also, if we end up at a hospital, and for some reason the baby is separated from us, Seth is to go and be with the baby at all times instead of staying with me. 
• We may have a water birth in one of the big beautiful tubs that each room is equipped with, but I'm also open to knowing that I cannot predict what will actually feel best for me during the labor, so I'm completely open for other options and positions and places to labor and birth.
• There is no option of epidural or other painkillers so I don't have to worry about telling anyone not to ask me about medication. 
• At this point, I have chosen not to be on IV antibiotics for GBS. I am taking probiotics, eating lots of food with probiotics, and took a strong herbal remedy that encourages good flora. Of course, they will be monitoring me for a fever or other signs that the GBS might be affecting me during labor, and then they will monitor the baby closely after birth (as they would anyway, whether or not I had GBS).
• I have food and drinks ready to take along including Recharge (a more natural form of gatorade), coconut water, trail mix and nuts, crackers, and popsicles. 
• The midwives have offered to take photos. My cameras are charged and ready to go! I do not want any videos taken of the birthing based on not wanting to replay the pain. Since a woman naturally forgets exactly how painful birth is and mostly remembers the bliss of it, I'd like to keep that natural forgetfulness on track rather than replay the pain through a video.
• The pushing will be mother directed, rather than coached. 
• Seth has the option to catch the baby, but that will depend on how he's feeling about it then and what his position is at the moment the of the birth.
• The baby will be placed on my chest immediately after birth, and we cannot wait to watch it as it adapts to the world outside of the womb and begins nursing for the first time. The midwives will monitor the baby from my chest and then will do their first check up 1-2 hours after birth - giving us time to bond as a new family. (which I love!)
• I have about 2 hours to deliver the placenta before it becomes a concern. It will be done naturally, unless it's getting close to the 2 hour mark, at which point they may give me pitocin to encourage it along so I don't have to go to a hospital. If for some reason, I need to go to a hospital for this part, the midwives said that we are usually back at the birthing center for the rest of the stay after it is taken care of. 
• I will be having my placenta encapsulated. I'm using someone that has a system with Alma, so I don't really have to do anything. She'll deliver it to our home about 3 days after the birth. 
• We have the option of staying 2 nights and being taken care of by a postpartum doula. This will depend on how we feel and when we are ready to go home. We'll definitely stay one night. 
• Although we will do cloth diapers, we are going to start out with disposables, for at least the first couple days/week. We decided that this would just help us as we are already adapting and learning so much. 

Resources for Pregnancy

I've spent at least the last year reading primarily non-fiction, learning everything I can about pregnancy and parenting and all the choices you have to make (it's CRAZY the decisions you have to make as a parent - and doing it together... learning advantages to both sides and agreeing on a final decision). When we first started discussing pregnancy, I started trying to find books and information. I wanted all the information, not just the stuff regular doctors tell you... I was looking for something more - especially because our plan was to use a different model than the traditional medical model for our prenatal care and birthing. Yet, I kept finding the "popular" books What to Expect When Expecting and Mayo Clinic Guide to Healthy Pregnancy. I started there, but it wasn't too long after I started with those books, that I knew I needed something more. A little write up for each week wasn't enough, and the fears those books put in me of all the things that could go wrong were going against my purposeful work of not getting stressed about the unknown and uncontrolled!

After asking some mamas that seemed to have similar ideas as me, I began finding more books. And while I had thought my midwives in New York might give me some suggestions (they didn't), I did end up getting some great suggestions from my midwives at Alma and from other mamas in my Autumn Mamas group (at our meetings and on facebook). I wanted to record some of the books I've read (mostly so I can remember and refer back to them, but also, in case others find themselves searching as I was). I've tried to provide a link to these books on Amazon as well - but most, I borrowed from the library.

Books about How to Become Pregnant & Each stage of pregnancy:

What to Expect When Expecting
Mayo Clinic Guide to Healthy Pregnancy

• I stopped reading these books at about the end of my first trimester. I did not finish them, and I haven't picked them up since. I do get the kind of "weekly updates" about what's happening in each stage as emails from a few websites. 

Resources about Pregnancy and Birthing:

Birthing From Within by Pam England

• This book was recommended at my mama group. There is a Birthing From Within class offered for child birth ed, but this particular mother suggested taking a different class and just reading the book (which is what we did and are completely happy about). There were many parts in the book where you were told to draw about your thoughts on the different parts of pregnancy and birthing. I wasn't quite feeling that and didn't do any of the "assignments." Yet, I did find parts of the book very inspiring. This book, among others and also some of people we've worked with in preparing for our birth, really talk about the amazing beauty of a woman's ability to birth. They make it inspiring and powerful, as it actually is, but I'd never heard it referred to in this way. (As my yoga teacher often says, Women are goddesses - creating and nurturing a life within.) Nature's ability to make a woman's body perfect for birthing is absolutely amazing! 
• The book also provided tips and techniques for comfort and management during birth. There were multiple parts that I shared with Seth to support him as my birthing partner, as well. I will probably read the book again for future pregnancies. 

The Birth Book by William and Martha Sears

• This was one book that Seth and I read together. It was probably a most important book to help us begin learning about laboring and birthing. Reading it together also gave us points where we could discuss our fears and hopes for the laboring and come up with "plans" and ideas for dealing with certain aspects of laboring. We felt that Dr. Sears was very informative, yet he wasn't like those previous authors in the books mentioned above. I'd 100% recommend this book to expecting mamas to read in the end of their 2nd trimester/beginning of their 3rd trimester. And read it with your partner. 

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin

• This was a definite must-read recommendation from multiple people, including my midwives at Alma. I like how she "debunked" many of the ideas of laboring and birthing the conventional way. She shared the history and how birthing came to be what it is today. From everything I know, it seems a bit outrageous that some things are still happening - women laying down on their backs to birth being one that stands out most to me. It makes me wonder how women ever let go of natural instincts to follow these various methods of birthing... 
• The book includes a lot of birthing stories, which I only partially enjoyed. Others suggested this to me, and I'd suggest it to anyone else, go back and forth between the stories and the information. Skip the stories that don't seem to interest you. There are Many, Many stories though, so if you are looking to learn about other women's experiences, this is a great resource.

Our childbirth ed teacher also shared a few videos with us too:
Baby Mesi
Grayson's Birth
Mother Directed Pushing

• I've watched these videos multiple times, and I cannot help but cry. I cannot wait for that moment that the baby is born and we meet for the first time! It seems like the MOST beautiful moment to share with Seth, to see the baby that we created and nurtured, that will grow and grow but always be OURS. 

Breastfeeding: 

Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding by Ina May Gaskin

• This has been a FANTASTIC read (I just finished it this morning). Again, Ina May does a great job of giving information about breastfeeding, "debunking" current American ideas about breastfeeding, and explaining how breastfeeding in our culture came to be viewed as it is today. I am hopeful that we will be able to successfully breastfeed our little one for at least the first year of its life, and if I have any problems, I will immediately be seeking help from my midwives or a lactation consultant. Many women have difficulties and don't reach out for assistance, and that's where they struggle and eventually give up. But the benefits to our little one are WAY too important for me. If there is one thing I am most set on, it will be successfully breastfeeding and avoiding man-made formula all together. 
• This book is empowering to this future breastfeeding mama. It also gives me perspective on why some people might view it as inappropriate to do in certain places... It's really interesting, as Ina May points out, that our culture has turned a source of food for our newborns into an inappropriate sex symbol. We, as a culture, cannot see the difference between the two... and that does seem a bit odd, considering it's nature and natural. 

The Breastfeeding Book by William and Martha Sears

• I picked this book up for a couple dollars at a consignment sale but haven't read it yet (was trying to get all my checked out books read first, but it's next on the list). I'm assuming it will be as helpful as The Birthing Book. I may skim some of it since I've taken a class and read Ina May's book.

Parenting:

Seth and I could have the best laid out plans for how we are going to parent... Yet, we are both quite aware that these plans will most likely go right OUT the window when we are actually doing it! So, we will not hold onto any one specific way of parenting. We will rather learn about different styles of parenting and take those into account with our own perceptions and experiences with being parented and seeing others parenting. 

The Attachment Parenting Book by William and Martha Sears

• "Attachment Parenting" seems to be all the jargon of parenting lately. I heard one mama-to-be ask, "Are you guys doing attachment parenting?" and in another group others all agreeing they'd be doing attachment parenting. I wanted to know exactly what it is (Wow. I just had a huge moment of deja vu... have I posted about this before?? Or maybe I've written this post in my mind... or dreamt it... weird. Sorry if it's a repeat!) I wanted to know exactly what this term "attachment parenting" meant. 
• This book goes through what it is and isn't, benefits, how to become "attached", and then specifically through each element of attachment parenting. Seth and I started reading this book together, but as we read, I felt like it was too... elementary for me. We understand certain elements, we plan to do certain parts of it, but we don't necessarily want to attach ourselves to this one way of parenting...
• Pretty much the parts that seem important to us that are also a part of attachment parenting include: bonding immediately after birth, breastfeeding, baby wearing (yet we'll also use a stroller at times too - we want to have the option), believing that the baby's cry is a signal that they need something (it's their only way to communicate!) and not ignoring it, a somewhat co-sleeping situation, avoiding baby trainers (which means feeding on demand and not sleep training).

Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn 

• I'm not sure how I've missed this author. He's written a number of books about education, and from their titles, it seems like he is coming from a place I would agree STRONGLY with (including the rewarding system in education (a great way to KILL an intrinsic desire to learn), homework myths, and other books about a better way of educating). 
• This particular book is about parenting, specifically moving from rewards and punishments to love and reason (ha! as that's part of the title ;). It's interesting reading (I've barely just started) and is a bit of a challenge thinking about because it is different from the traditional discipling and parenting in our culture. The one thing I have picked up so far is to remember that there is a reason that a child is acting the way they are and our job is to try to help figure out what it is and help them deal with it. Small children cannot communicate clearly all of their feelings (ummm, I'm 27 and it even takes me some time to figure out why I'm feeling the way I am and be able to communicate that clearly at times!) I'm literally at chapter 2 so I have a ways to, but I'm excited to see what else this book holds. 

Connection Parenting by Pam Leo 

• This book, along with the one above and a number of others, were leant to us by our sister-in-law, Jac. I haven't started this one yet, so an update will come later ;) 

Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen

• Another book leant from Jac that I haven't started yet. 

Caring for a Baby:

The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp

• This book was leant to us by a friend, and I started reading it way back in the beginning of our pregnancy. I haven't picked it up since. I do remember a few tips (which I've heard from other places since) that included swaddling and shushing. I can't remember other ones... I'll probably skim back through this book again here in the near future.

The Baby Book by William and Martha Sears

• Notice the trend? I guess I'm impressed with William and Martha Sears! 
• This book was recommended at one of my new mama groups. A mama said to just get one book for a reference and said this was a great one because of how the information is laid out.
• I haven't actually even looked much at it. Figured I'd pick this one up after the baby came... I probably won't read it through, just get an idea of what's in it and keep it as a reference, like the mama suggested. 

Vaccinations: (Is parenting an endless road to becoming informed and making decisions??!!)

Seth and I have just started learning about vaccinations. We don't know where we stand but we are curious about our options... We wonder about what vaccinations are absolutely MOST important, what are side effects, what about alternative schedules and why do some people choose this way to vaccinate, what vaccines we may need to update, and the questions continue on... 

We recently read this article from the New York Times that we found a bit interesting. I've since seen this man referenced in a bit of reading I have been doing. 

The Vaccine Book by William and Martha Sears

• So far, the book seems to be laying out the information for each of the vaccines and the diseases/germs they provide immunity to, explaining what they are for, what they are made of, when they can be given and even when it might be best to give them, the potential side effects. I've barely started it, so I don't have too much else to say but a few other topics covered in the book include: Combining vaccines, safety, side effects over all, autism link research, ingredients, and alternate vaccine schedules. 

I also picked up the book What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children's Vaccinations by Stephanie Cave. I haven't even attempted to open this book yet, so I can't say much about it at this point. And I got a DVD called Vaccinations? Assessing the Risks and Benefits, which we haven't watched yet, so again I can't say anything about it either at this point.

I asked one of our midwives if she had references of classes or information sessions where we can learn more about vaccines and she suggested an information seminar that is done locally every month through the website www.naturalchildbirthclinic.com. We'll definitely be checking that out (wished I'd have asked last week because this month's seminar was last week... now we'll have to go with the baby...) 

39 Weeks

38 Weeks

37 Weeks

One Last Weekend Away as 2

I'd read a few suggestions for couples to take trips before their little one arrives (in lots of articles it's called something similar to a honeymoon, but drop the honey and add another word... I'm not allowed to mention the word though, Seth's orders...). I'd been contemplating bringing it up for a while and wondering if it was in our budget or money we should be spending on all the baby stuff we need to get/saving since I'm no longer working. I decided to throw the idea out there and Seth thought it was a great idea. We agreed to head towards Mt. Hood since it's not too far from Portland, and he really loves the mountains! 

I found a perfect cabin - just inside Mt. Hood National Forest. It was a 1 bedroom, great for 2, and the price was impossible to beat! Here's a link if you are interested in seeing the cabin we stayed in! We quite enjoyed our weekend home and would probably go back again. 

We spent our evenings grilling dinner and eating on the porch. Then Seth would light a fire, and we'd spend a couple hours sitting (or in my case, lounging/laying/sitting - whichever was comfortable) by the fire, making smores, dreaming about our little one, talking about plans for our future, discussing our ideas about parenting and what we want/don't want. 

We spent both Saturday and Sunday exploring lakes around Mt. Hood. We didn't do much in the way of hiking (I've really started feeling the result of too much physical activity - and mostly it's been coming after the work is done... then it seems to take me out for at least an hour or so...) 

The first lake we visited was Trillium Lake. We found out about this lake from our car salesman last weekend. It was definitely a BEAUTIFUL lake to visit. You can drive right up to the lake, which makes it easily accessible to a lot of people. We didn't mind though, because the view was so magnificent. We found a quiet place to sit and watch the people fishing and take in the view. 

The next lake we visited was Clear Lake. It's a little farther from Mt. Hood and doesn't have any mountain backdrop views, but we still really enjoyed it. You can also drive right up to this lake, but despite that, it was surprisingly lacking in the people area (especially for such a nice day). We liked how there were camp sites just behind the line of trees going along the side of the lake we came in on. How fun it would be to be able to walk from you camp site right down to the water. And this water was a pleasant place to be on that HOT Saturday afternoon. (I wish I'd have brought my swimming suit and a tube to float on!)

Our last stop on Saturday was Mt. Hood Timberline. Although we'd been there before, I still wanted to return and check out the lodge that we didn't go into last summer. The views are amazing, and it's quite fantastic to be so far up on Mt. Hood. I cannot wait to see it in the winter time with all it's snow!!

 Seth is dreaming of the snowboarding he can do this winter (hopefully ;)!!

On Sunday, we spent the morning resting and watching the DNC speeches that we'd missed last week. Both mornings were a little rough for me, so taking it easy was an absolute must before we spent the afternoon exploring. Checkout was noon, and at that point, we headed towards Lost Lake (about an hour and a half and a scenic drive around the southern to eastern to northern parts of Mt. Hood).

Ethan, Jac and P had gone to Lost Lake last summer and had raved about it, so Seth was really wanting to check it out. Plus, you can rent boats and head out on the lake (I'm ALL about renting boats - the other two lakes lacked that option... you had to bring you own.)

The 12 mile road up to Lost Lake is quite something. It's INSANELY windy, and I was NOT feeling so great once we got on it! I was quite relieved to arrive and soon forgot about my queazy stomach with the views!

 It was love at first sight! We were amazed by the beauty of this lake! Mt. Hood can normally be seen in that blue area just to the left of the middle of the picture... but I didn't get any photos of it before the clouds rolled in.

 It was a bit cooler at this lake (I have two sweatshirts on :). It was also quite windy, but despite that, Seth rowed us all the way across the lake (the East and West way).

 I love love love this man. His child is so lucky to have him as a father, and I absolutely cannot wait to watch him grow into the amazing father I know he'll be!!! (Especially if he's anything like the absolutely amazing husband he is to me!)

We made one last stop before home. Huckleberry Milkshakes were a must! (This place is just on the South edge of Hood River, Oregon if you are wanting to try one yourself!!)

And the drive home couldn't have been anymore beautiful! The Columbia Gorge is really breathtaking!

34 Weeks

33 Weeks

Pregnancy Update

Last week was our 32 week appointment with our midwives. That's when I started thinking about how there are around 8 weeks left... and now this week - 7 weeks left before we hold our little one in our arms. The appointments with our midwives are now closer together - our next one is at 34 weeks (just a few days away on Tuesday!) and then again at 36 weeks. After 36 weeks, we start going weekly (we are soooo close!)

Although I am excited, I'm not quite wishing away the next two months because we have A LOT TO DO! Jac has offered up boxes of baby clothes and cloth diapers that I need to go through to see what we can use for little one and get organized before the birth. The closet of things we do have for the little one is just a pile of stuff stacked (need to get shelves and start organizing that!) AND we need to figure out what else we need and get it ordered online/bought (which I feel a little overwhelmed thinking about!)

We've been reading books about birthing as we start prepping for the labor. We are birthing at a birthing center and planning a natural birth (drugs and medications for pain are not an option there so we won't be harassed by people asking if we are sure we don't want medication). For me, a natural, drug-free birth is important because, from the research I've done, it will keep my body on track to being able to deliver a baby. While it blocks pain, it also blocks my body from sending natural signals that will help me to deliver the babe, and I really want to do as much as I can to prevent any unnecessary interventions. Of course, if the midwives do see an issue and an intervention needs to be done, I trust them and their judgement and will do as they advise to keep the baby and myself safe. (And for those of you who worry about an emergency - often midwives monitor enough to know if there is a need to go to a hospital, and although you see it on TV a LOT, we most likely wouldn't be in a situation where are making a mad-dash to the ER... Most often problems are spotted and monitored, but more often than not, a low-risk pregnancy equals a healthy normal birth when done naturally. BUT we live in a culture that believes a hospital is necessary for birth (as if birth is something that is wrong with you), so I can see where the concern comes from. We are about a 7 minute drive from the hospital either from our house or from the birthing center.)

We'll have 3 midwives during our birth, and I think each one of them is GREAT! They are all at the appointments (barring a laboring mother or birth in progress) and all are knowledgeable and very comforting to be around. Other than that, it'll just be Seth and of course baby & me. There really isn't much room for anyone else in the space, nor do I think I can manage anyone else during the labor. Seth is pretty much all I need (& my midwives, of course ;).

I have been reading about various techniques to try to manage and get through the pain and will be practicing these until the baby comes. Yoga is also helping me practice breathing and gain strength in the squatting position (a position that may come in VERY handy during the labor). I am also mentally preparing myself for the most intense pain of my life... Hopefully the endorphins really do cloud over that part of your memory like I read in a book this morning ;)

As far as how I feel, I've been feeling fairly well. I am starting to have some back pain - usually towards the end of the day. It's more in the middle of my back rather than the lower part. I also continue to have heartburn. A lot. I can't wait for the day the baby is born and it goes away!! I have forgotten what it feels like to NOT have heartburn! And I have really started having a more difficult time sitting comfortably. Mostly I move around often and try new spots. Oh. And I've been peeing more. Some nights 4 times in 8 hours, but last night - I slept 6 hours without waking up!!! I couldn't believe it this morning!! I have to celebrate all the extended sleep I can, because we all know that will 100% be disappearing come the middle of October! (& who knows when I'll have it back!)

I haven't had any swelling since the heat of Kansas, and my weight gain is sticking around 25 pounds so far. I'm imagining that we'll have about 5-10 more pounds here at the end, but the smaller the babe the better for me ;)

I think I have one more test to do - the strep test. I debated on even doing it, but have decided to go ahead and do it (it's pretty easy - not like the 6 vials of blood one). If it does come back positive, I'll have to decided what the next step will be then (IV, alternative method, or nothing)... but I'm assuming I'd be leaning towards alternative methods because I'd prefer NOT to have an IV... Of course, this decision would be made IF the test came back positive and AFTER more extensive research and discussion with my midwives on what they advise.

Anyway, can't wait to hear the baby's heartbeat on Tuesday at our next appointment!

32 Weeks