Life's Events

I often wonder if others feel this stress and anxiety I do. I get so worked up about things, not always small things... and it goes straight to my stomach... My appetite is gone and all my thoughts are centered on the event that will or is taking place and the knots in my stomach put me on the edge of my seat in discomfort.

This morning, I started to feel it on my way to work. As I was riding the bus, I started taking deep breaths and telling myself to calm down, I'd be okay. And it worked. Until this evening, when I've started getting things prepared for tomorrow's "stressful" event. I think the anxiety hits me so hard because I'm so set on things going my way. I am dreaming and hoping... I'm not even sure I can imagine them not going my way at this point... But I'm afraid of what will happen if they don't. Yet, I'm feeling hopeful despite the chance that everything may go differently than I want.

It won't be the end of the world, but tomorrow could change my life, could make things more pleasant and bring back something I've been missing for a year now. The last few weeks seem to have been filled with various stressful events... Chances for change... And everything has been going fairly well for me. We got the apartment we wanted. All is set for the move this weekend (minus the packing we'll be busy doing Thursday night and Friday night). We had an amazing trip to the beach a few weekends ago, great fun with friends last weekend... and I'm getting closer and closer to my summer break.

I need to stop worrying about the little details... the little things I'll have to work out if these changes do happen. I need to start focusing on what I am doing and what I can do to put what I need into making the changes I want to see in my life. I have so many people cheering and sharing confidence that I can be amazing tomorrow. And I will. I will. I will.

For now, I'll calm down. Relax. Get some sleep. (And for those of you wondering what I'm even talking about... I'll share if it comes through!!) But first I've got to find the iron in this messy home of mine!