Wiggly Girl

Oh sweet Sofia how you are growing. Today, at the Breastfeeding Support Group, I weighed you. A week and a half ago you were 9 lbs and 11 oz. Today, you weighed in at 10 lbs and 3 oz. It is interesting to see you compared to other babies. There was a baby boy who was one day older than you but still looked so much like a newborn & was so much smaller than you. There was also a 3 month old little one that you seem to be the same size as (although he's still 2 pounds heavier than you). All babies grow at their own rate. It's fun to see you growing! 

I keep thinking about how I want to write letters to you. Or how I want to record what you do each day. I know I won't remember the details. I should get a notebook and write when I have a moment. Yet, these things don't happen because I'm too busy living in the moment with you (or feeding you or trying to catch up on sleep while you nap or rushing around doing as much housework as possible before you wake up). 

These photos were taken last week. In just a week you've changed so much already!! You have started being awake more and being content to sit and be. Today, at our mama's group, you sat for a while and just looked around. 

Yesterday, while you enjoyed your naked baby time, I told you about the time your cousin, Tristan, visited New York City. It was so hot that he spent the entire trip in his diaper. I am sure you would love to live in your diaper, or even less. You almost always calm down on the changing bed. You seem to love your bath time. We promise that we'll let you run around with less clothing on once it's a bit warmer!

See these big eyes. You get them often. They are so darn cute!

And those little hands. You keep them balled up so tightly, unless you are full or about to fall asleep. They are quite difficult to clean!

You are a bit ticklish. The back of your neck (like your mama). Your daddy will torture you with that ticklish spot forever! He does the same thing to your mama!! I'll try to protect you from your father's tickling. I know how horrible it is & am definitely not a big plan. Worst case, we'll just hold him down and get him. I know a few spots that are sensitive to him!

Riding in the car isn't your FAVORITE thing, mostly because of that dang seat! You aren't crying the whole time you are buckled in. You do cry out for a while. Then you look out the window or fall asleep. You seem to be calmed by the music. Your favorite channel is the Chill channel on Surius XM. You can thank your father for finding that one and making it a permanent part of our car rides. 

You are quite a squirmer. Yesterday, when I put you on your belly for tummy time, you pushed up on your hands and rolled right over onto your back. I am not completely sure when babies roll over developmentally, but you are sure working on it! I think you'll be a little mover once you become mobile! 

Your parents try not to stress too much about you, but the love we have for you is so intense that we cannot seem to help it. We absolutely just want the VERY best. We want you to be happy and well. This will never make complete sense to you until you have your own baby, but someday you'll feel this unexplainable, impossible to measure love for your own little one and you'll understand what your parents are feeling for you right now. 

Sometimes when you are alert and happy (meaning full of food), we'll sit and look at each other. I'll make faces at you and you try to make them back at me.

Almost every night, you spend time snoozing on your father's chest. It's quite possibly the sweetest thing! (Right this moment, you are snoozing there with your hand on his chest!)

Sweet Sofia, you are so loved. You are so amazing and beautiful and wonderful. You are growing so fast and with each passing moment you are changing and becoming more of the person you will grow up to be! 

Morning Faces

One of my favorite times of the day with Sofia is in the morning after she's awake and fed. Usually I am still drowsy and, lets be honest, part of me is wishing I were still sleep. Yet, when she becomes alert and content - even happy - I am wide awake and forgetting I was ever dreaming of more sleep. Sometimes this time comes at 6:30 am and other times at 9:00 am and everywhere between! Here are some of her faces from this morning...

Her Own Beer

We found this beer back in August at a local grocery store, and Seth bought some to enjoy before sweet pea was born. It was our little secret, but the bottle sat out in the open for quite a while ;)

Portland Family Portraits :: Barten Family

A mama friend recently asked if I'd take family photos for them while her husband's (a friend from high school) family was visiting. I love taking people's photos so I said I would, despite my nerves about how it would work with Sofia. I am exclusively breastfeeding her and, at her age, she's on no set schedule. So essentially I can't be without my girl at this point. I agreed with the one stipulation of potential flexibility. Of course they have a 6 month old so the flexibility went both ways (ooo the unpredictable lives of babies!)

My husband wrapped the baby up, grabbed an umbrella and joined us in the mist in Lauralhurst Park for our photo session. It was the first portrait session I have done in the overcast Portland weather and I was pleasantly surprised by the results!

I'll be happy to get more photo sessions in the future as I get to know more people in our new city! Plus as Sofia grows, it'll become easier...

(Look at their adorable baby!! & how funny is the dog photo!! Someone jokingly mentioned they needed a dog in their photo -we were by the lawn where dogs run off-leash. Sure enough a dog ran over... And then another and another. This pup stayed a moment for a photo op!)

Thanksgiving

Thank goodness for my stepmom, because without her, we'd have had take out for Thanksgiving! She spent the day slaving away in the kitchen making TONS OF AMAZING FOOD!!! I didn't even help at all... Think I was spending the day trying to catch up on sleep with the baby... (If I remember right.) Here are a few photos of the day that I was able to snap. 

Seth teaching Kevin some tunes on the piano. 

Alan preparing for a Dungeons and Dragons game. 

Mom cooking!

Most of our dinner layout!

Seth learning how to cut the turkey.

Dungeons and Dragons game

Sofia Meets Family

It's a few weeks late (finally got the blog set up so I could load photos from my computer... I had no more space on google but was somehow able to still post photos from my phone). Over Thanksgiving, my family on my dad's side came to stay and celebrate the holiday with us. Here are photos of Sofia hanging out with her aunts, uncle, and grandma and grandpa.

Saturday

I slept 6 hours last night. I knew I needed to give my mama a little break. She was a bit exhausted! This morning I have been a pretty happy baby girl! I am not exactly smiling but you can see it in my eyes!! :) To make the morning even better, I took a nice snooze while wrapped up to my mommy just as they were out to eat biscuits and gravy around the corner. It was quite perfect timing. I gotta treat this mom and dad every now and then you know! They deserve it ;) After we got home, I got some naked baby time and a baby massage... Daddy is jealous cause he wants a massage too... Now I am debating on another little snooze or maybe I am still hungry... How's your Saturday going?!

Tears and Breastfeeding

Sofia has been gaining weight like a champ (closing in on 10 pounds) so it seems as if breastfeeding is going great. Yet, off and on for the last few weeks I have had periods of utter pain and discomfort on the right side & starting today, on my left side as well. I have held back from going to a lactation consultant because I didn't think the problems warranted the $100+ it would cost to see one. At our last appointment with the midwives, I explained my continued struggle that periodically arose and how I was joining a breastfeeding support group in hopes of some help. They shared a resource with me saying I probably needed a little more support and with my budget, this would be perfect.

The Birthingway College of Midwifery offers free consultations as a way to train their students. I filled out the form, got an appointment and figured if this didn't seem to help, then I could bite the bullet and get an appointment with the LC that taught our breastfeeding class and runs the support group. I wasn't sure what to expect with it being a place that trains students? But it actually went above my expectations. The center is located in a house (reminded me of Alma) which made it cozy. The student LCs were extremely helpful and friendly, offering to help me with my things and take Sofia while I filled out paperwork. They burped her and didn't mind in the least when she spit up all over them (multiple times)!

During our consultation, we were essentially meeting with a certified Lactation Consultant and the students were doing some of the evaluation and paperwork or learning from the LC. They did a thorough evaluation of her mouth to see if the problem might stem from there since I seemed to be doing what it takes to have a good latch. Turns out, our girl is slightly tongue tied which makes it hard for her tongue to stretch as long as it needs to. She can put it over her gums (which is how she is able to get enough food) but not as easily over her lips (which is what is causing me pain) and when it does go over her lips, it has the heart shaped tip. The other thing they found was that her upper lip needs to be clipped too, as it is too tight and keeps her from being able to position it correctly during nursing. Both of these things, when clipped, should provide comfort and ease of correct latch and nursing.

It was interesting hearing all the things they look at to indicate these issues. The way her upper lip doesn't flange out and is white during nursing. It's so tight for her that the blood doesn't flow. They looked at the way her palette is bubbled and not flattened because her tongue doesn't reach up to make it form flatter. From this, her gag reflex sensibility. Because she's never really had anything touching the top of her palette (even in the womb), anything they touches it almost instantly causes gag reflex (which we have noticed her regularly gag - poor thing). Even looking at her profile, they could indicate a potential problem because the chin was in further than the upper lip.

So our plan of action is to go to an ear, nose & throat doctor to have a second evaluation and potentially have a procedure done to clip under her tongue and upper lip. Our appointment is scheduled for Friday morning. I am nervous about how difficult it will be for Seth and me to watch this happen even though we are told that it doesn't hurt too much. We both hate to see our girl upset. In the afternoon, we'll be taking her to a chiropractor for a session of cranialsacral therapy. Before she was born, we'd never even heard of cranialsacral. I would say that I am still a bit unsure what exactly happens. The LC said it would help Sofia adjust to the change in her body. I've met a number of people who have had OT done to their little ones and assure me it helps. I am willing to try if it means Sofia will gain from it. I'll report back after our session and let you know!

The hope is that this procedure will bring the mama some much needed comfort in breastfeeding and prevent any future speech issues for Sofia.

Mommy & Daddy Kisses

She's 5 weeks old and we are still amazed she's ours.

A Mommy Must-Have

We were out and about like pros Thursday! Our first meetup was with Alma's new mamas. I had hoped to see some of the mamas I had met during pregnancy and was happy to catch up with a few and meet their little ones. We also met some new mamas too. It felt like we were all old friends even though some I had just met today. In becoming a mama, I've been "warned" about feeling lonely, even with a baby. I haven't necessarily experienced that since this is the first week I've actually been alone with the baby. But to avoid this loneliness, I've been encouraged to find ways to socialize, especially with other mamas. I can tell this meetup will be a part of my weekly routine for quite a while. I am looking forward to this weekly meetup and can't wait to watch our little ones grow together (& hopefully some friendships as well!) I am so appreciative that Alma hosts this group each week! One more reason why I love love love Alma! :)

After the first group, I ran home, ate lunch and changed the baby's diaper, then it was off to the next get together. This was a smaller group of women. It was the first time I've met with this group where all of us attending were no longer pregnant. Kind of fun making the transition and not sitting and dreaming of our little ones but actually sharing about them (& having mine snuggled up on me). I did find myself getting flustered when Sofia was upset though. I think because of my lack of confidence... Like I am afraid that I am not doing the "best" right thing to calm and sooth her... Of course it's the same thing I confidently do at home that works for her... Oh to be a new mama! (I know my confidence will come in someday & probably soon since I will continue to get out with Sofia. It will begin to feel normal and not so foreign.)

I like having both groups. One group is filled with women who all had similar birth stories. We all share similar desires by choosing Alma. In the other group I am the only one (so far) that has gone with a free standing birthing center (& drug free). It is nice to have the variety of experiences at a variety of hospitals and to hear stories that are different from my own.

On one last note, all of this traveling around was made so much easier by this handy little mirror in the photo below! It is a definite mommy must-have for the car!

Good Morning Thursday

We have two mommy get-togethers today. We are going to attempt them both!!!

I am Loving Being Sofia's Mother

I have to say it totally rocks. More than I thought it would and I didn't have a doubt in my mind about how awesome it would be!

This first week of being a family of 3 at home has been a nice transition. Even more Sofia and Mama during the day hasn't been as scary as I thought. Actually the days seem to be going pretty quickly. We've had long walks in the park... Even in the rain it's quite enjoyable. We've taken naps, caught up with friends and family on the phone (so nice to have that interaction since I don't have the regular adult interaction I used to when I was working), made some Christmas presents and Christmas cards, read books, played and had some naked bum time (even got some "Bum in the Sun" time today... Trying to get rid of her pink bum. Pour baby!) She's spent time in her bouncy chair so I could do a few things (make food to eat mostly). We've rocked in the rocking chair (I truly LOVE this chair!)

Today, we made sandwiches and took them to see Seth at work for lunch. She was pretty content there. We almost got her to smile... We can see her face light up and the smile is on the edges of her sweet little mouth. Soon enough she'll be smiling up a storm!!

After that, I took Sofia and went to a Breastfeeding Mamas Support Group. It was facilitated by an awesome woman who was also the teacher of the class we took on breastfeeding at Alma. I am excited to start going regularly for the support and community it gives. Other than discussing breastfeeding, we also talked about our definition of being a mother. A mother of a mama with twins was there and she shared a quote about the love that a parent gives isn't known until you are a parent giving that love yourself. It moved me. I've been thinking about this new love that I feel for my daughter, a love that is beyond words to describe, a love that I see going forever into the future. I had no idea what this would feel like before Sofia. I had no idea how greatly I could love as a parent to this baby girl. And I love that I love her so, that I am her Mama!!

Tomorrow, we are heading out to socialize again. We have an Alma new mamas group in the morning and a holiday card addressing party with a group of mamas I have been meeting up with off and on since September. I am not sure how many cards I'll actually get addressed (they arrived today just in time!) but at least we can socialize!!

Here are a few photos from the last two days:

One Month Letter

Dear Sofia,

You have been out in the world for month now! We can't imagine our lives without you (& it's weird thinking about our lives before you!!) In this last month, you have completely changed us! We are sinking into our new roles as your mother and father. We no longer feel clueless about little babies (or at least not completely clueless). We expect a lot more unexpected things to happen with you. We are getting use to (& trying not to stress about) all the things a newborn does to learn how to function in this new world.

You and I spend a lot of time together nursing. It's really an amazing time. You eat quite often, and we know you are getting food because we see how much you've grown already (you've gained almost 2 pounds in a month!). You get a bit squirmy during nursing at times. I am not completely sure what it it, but I think it might be you fighting off sleep or needing burped or not getting enough milk because you've already drank so much and the supply is running low. One of my favorite parts is when you fall asleep in my arms. I watch it come on... It's the sweetest thing. Usually I hold you cuddled in my arms for a while before either sharing you with someone else or putting you down to sleep.

For a while, every time your father held you you'd want to be nursed instead. He would get sad not to get time with you... You've started being able to be with him more now. He's discovered a few things that sooth you: being outside, being swung from side to side and up and down, or sitting facing out. In the night, he sometimes takes you out of you bassinet between us on the bed and lays you on his chest to sleep if you are being too restless and fidgety. I think your father is still waiting for the days when you respond more and begin to play with him. You'll have so much fun with him!!! I know he'll be one of your favorite people!!

I have started noticing changes in you. Instead of only sleeping and eating and repeating all over again, you are spending more time being awake. We've read books, laid you down for tummy time, put you in your swing, sat and chatted (well you don't so much but Mommy makes up the things you are "saying"). We've gone on walks and hung out on the front porch. It's an interesting transition for me as I'm starting to change my thinking that you are hungry when you are awake. :)

Sweet Sofia, there are certain things we know about you already. You like baths. We hope that sticks so bath time is easy for us later and fun for you! You usually seem to enjoy the changing table. You calm down and just hang out while we change your diaper... Your little legs move quite a bit though. And you often get hiccups while on the changing table. You don't really love your car seat, but we are hoping you'll grow out of that (Grandma has found that shaking your car seat a bit and rubbing your head helps sooth you... sometimes). We have big plans for road trips next summer Little Miss. You like to sleep with your hands above your head. It's pretty darn cute! We have some great photos of it, we'll show you someday!

At our 4 week appointment with the midwives, you weighed 9 pounds 11 ounces. You gained almost 2 pounds since you were born!! The midwives all wanted time to cuddle you (and one of our midwives even took a photo of you because you are so darn cute!!)

Happy 1 month birthday baby girl. We love you more than our words can explain, more than we ever imagined we'd be able to. You are the most amazing little thing.

Love,
Your Mama

And Then We Were 3

Family left Thursday, and we've bee settling into the new 3. The weekend was nice and low-key. We ventured out for brunch and went grocery shopping. We did a lot of snuggling on the couch. We video chatted with the cousins we've been greatly missing.

Today was the first day that I took Sofia out on my own. I was able to shower before we headed out. I got some food for breakfast and lunch. We made it to our appointment with the midwives with only minor fussing from Sofia in her car seat and me in my house shoes (oops).