Unsettled Monday

Monday, for once I'm not sad to see you come. I like Mondays like this one, Mondays where I get to be home, where I get to sit at my computer surfing the internet for 2 hours straight if I choose. Mondays where I get to do the laundry and not think about having to do anything else pressing... Would love this Monday more if it weren't raining, but with the rain, Spring will come, green will come, blooms will come.

The weekend was a blur of fun and friends, but I'm absolutely exhausted, overstimulated (despite laying around yesterday doing Absolutely Nothing but watching movie after movie.) The East Village, a weird Italian restaurant with a variety of energies, games of Big Buck Hunter, a late night subway ride home. Then NCAA basketball games (and a sad loss and ending to our season), Williamsburg with new friends and old friends, the meeting of a tattoo apprentice (which only made me start thinking a little bit more about what I might want to get as I continue to dream of a future tattoo), inspirational words on the bathroom walls, and another late night home underground.

And even though I'm coming off a weekend of fun, a Sunday of utter laziness, and a Monday home, I'm feeling a bit unsettled, a bit stressed... anxious. Maybe it's the feelings of worry I have over the weird things my body has been doing the last week and a half... I can't quite describe it other than that I have been experiencing random moments of almost passing out and having trouble breathing. It only happens at work... So it makes me think it's stress and pressure, frustration for not being able to be good at something I want so badly to succeed at. Of course, I continue to think of all the possible things it could be, which is neither helpful or effective. I don't have a doctor here in the city, and frankly, I hate the thought of finding one... But maybe I should just suck it up, find someone, and make an appointment.