After asking some mamas that seemed to have similar ideas as me, I began finding more books. And while I had thought my midwives in New York might give me some suggestions (they didn't), I did end up getting some great suggestions from my midwives at Alma and from other mamas in my Autumn Mamas group (at our meetings and on facebook). I wanted to record some of the books I've read (mostly so I can remember and refer back to them, but also, in case others find themselves searching as I was). I've tried to provide a link to these books on Amazon as well - but most, I borrowed from the library.
Books about How to Become Pregnant & Each stage of pregnancy:
What to Expect When Expecting
Mayo Clinic Guide to Healthy Pregnancy
- I stopped reading these books at about the end of my first trimester. I did not finish them, and I haven't picked them up since. I do get the kind of "weekly updates" about what's happening in each stage as emails from a few websites.
Resources about Pregnancy and Birthing:
Birthing From Within by Pam England
- This book was recommended at my mama group. There is a Birthing From Within class offered for child birth ed, but this particular mother suggested taking a different class and just reading the book (which is what we did and are completely happy about). There were many parts in the book where you were told to draw about your thoughts on the different parts of pregnancy and birthing. I wasn't quite feeling that and didn't do any of the "assignments." Yet, I did find parts of the book very inspiring. This book, among others and also some of people we've worked with in preparing for our birth, really talk about the amazing beauty of a woman's ability to birth. They make it inspiring and powerful, as it actually is, but I'd never heard it referred to in this way. (As my yoga teacher often says, Women are goddesses - creating and nurturing a life within.) Nature's ability to make a woman's body perfect for birthing is absolutely amazing!
- The book also provided tips and techniques for comfort and management during birth. There were multiple parts that I shared with Seth to support him as my birthing partner, as well. I will probably read the book again for future pregnancies.
The Birth Book by William and Martha Sears
- This was one book that Seth and I read together. It was probably a most important book to help us begin learning about laboring and birthing. Reading it together also gave us points where we could discuss our fears and hopes for the laboring and come up with "plans" and ideas for dealing with certain aspects of laboring. We felt that Dr. Sears was very informative, yet he wasn't like those previous authors in the books mentioned above. I'd 100% recommend this book to expecting mamas to read in the end of their 2nd trimester/beginning of their 3rd trimester. And read it with your partner.
- This was a definite must-read recommendation from multiple people, including my midwives at Alma. I like how she "debunked" many of the ideas of laboring and birthing the conventional way. She shared the history and how birthing came to be what it is today. From everything I know, it seems a bit outrageous that some things are still happening - women laying down on their backs to birth being one that stands out most to me. It makes me wonder how women ever let go of natural instincts to follow these various methods of birthing...
- The book includes a lot of birthing stories, which I only partially enjoyed. Others suggested this to me, and I'd suggest it to anyone else, go back and forth between the stories and the information. Skip the stories that don't seem to interest you. There are Many, Many stories though, so if you are looking to learn about other women's experiences, this is a great resource.
Our childbirth ed teacher also shared a few videos with us too:
Baby Mesi
Grayson's Birth
Mother Directed Pushing
- I've watched these videos multiple times, and I cannot help but cry. I cannot wait for that moment that the baby is born and we meet for the first time! It seems like the MOST beautiful moment to share with Seth, to see the baby that we created and nurtured, that will grow and grow but always be OURS.
Breastfeeding:
Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding by Ina May Gaskin
- This has been a FANTASTIC read (I just finished it this morning). Again, Ina May does a great job of giving information about breastfeeding, "debunking" current American ideas about breastfeeding, and explaining how breastfeeding in our culture came to be viewed as it is today. I am hopeful that we will be able to successfully breastfeed our little one for at least the first year of its life, and if I have any problems, I will immediately be seeking help from my midwives or a lactation consultant. Many women have difficulties and don't reach out for assistance, and that's where they struggle and eventually give up. But the benefits to our little one are WAY too important for me. If there is one thing I am most set on, it will be successfully breastfeeding and avoiding man-made formula all together.
- This book is empowering to this future breastfeeding mama. It also gives me perspective on why some people might view it as inappropriate to do in certain places... It's really interesting, as Ina May points out, that our culture has turned a source of food for our newborns into an inappropriate sex symbol. We, as a culture, cannot see the difference between the two... and that does seem a bit odd, considering it's nature and natural.
The Breastfeeding Book by William and Martha Sears
- I picked this book up for a couple dollars at a consignment sale but haven't read it yet (was trying to get all my checked out books read first, but it's next on the list). I'm assuming it will be as helpful as The Birthing Book. I may skim some of it since I've taken a class and read Ina May's book.
Parenting:
Seth and I could have the best laid out plans for how we are going to parent... Yet, we are both quite aware that these plans will most likely go right OUT the window when we are actually doing it! So, we will not hold onto any one specific way of parenting. We will rather learn about different styles of parenting and take those into account with our own perceptions and experiences with being parented and seeing others parenting.
The Attachment Parenting Book by William and Martha Sears
- "Attachment Parenting" seems to be all the jargon of parenting lately. I heard one mama-to-be ask, "Are you guys doing attachment parenting?" and in another group others all agreeing they'd be doing attachment parenting. I wanted to know exactly what it is (Wow. I just had a huge moment of deja vu... have I posted about this before?? Or maybe I've written this post in my mind... or dreamt it... weird. Sorry if it's a repeat!) I wanted to know exactly what this term "attachment parenting" meant.
- This book goes through what it is and isn't, benefits, how to become "attached", and then specifically through each element of attachment parenting. Seth and I started reading this book together, but as we read, I felt like it was too... elementary for me. We understand certain elements, we plan to do certain parts of it, but we don't necessarily want to attach ourselves to this one way of parenting...
- Pretty much the parts that seem important to us that are also a part of attachment parenting include: bonding immediately after birth, breastfeeding, baby wearing (yet we'll also use a stroller at times too - we want to have the option), believing that the baby's cry is a signal that they need something (it's their only way to communicate!) and not ignoring it, a somewhat co-sleeping situation, avoiding baby trainers (which means feeding on demand and not sleep training).
Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn
- I'm not sure how I've missed this author. He's written a number of books about education, and from their titles, it seems like he is coming from a place I would agree STRONGLY with (including the rewarding system in education (a great way to KILL an intrinsic desire to learn), homework myths, and other books about a better way of educating).
- This particular book is about parenting, specifically moving from rewards and punishments to love and reason (ha! as that's part of the title ;). It's interesting reading (I've barely just started) and is a bit of a challenge thinking about because it is different from the traditional discipling and parenting in our culture. The one thing I have picked up so far is to remember that there is a reason that a child is acting the way they are and our job is to try to help figure out what it is and help them deal with it. Small children cannot communicate clearly all of their feelings (ummm, I'm 27 and it even takes me some time to figure out why I'm feeling the way I am and be able to communicate that clearly at times!) I'm literally at chapter 2 so I have a ways to, but I'm excited to see what else this book holds.
Connection Parenting by Pam Leo
- This book, along with the one above and a number of others, were leant to us by our sister-in-law, Jac. I haven't started this one yet, so an update will come later ;)
Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen
- Another book leant from Jac that I haven't started yet.
Caring for a Baby:
The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp
- This book was leant to us by a friend, and I started reading it way back in the beginning of our pregnancy. I haven't picked it up since. I do remember a few tips (which I've heard from other places since) that included swaddling and shushing. I can't remember other ones... I'll probably skim back through this book again here in the near future.
The Baby Book by William and Martha Sears
- Notice the trend? I guess I'm impressed with William and Martha Sears!
- This book was recommended at one of my new mama groups. A mama said to just get one book for a reference and said this was a great one because of how the information is laid out.
- I haven't actually even looked much at it. Figured I'd pick this one up after the baby came... I probably won't read it through, just get an idea of what's in it and keep it as a reference, like the mama suggested.
Vaccinations: (Is parenting an endless road to becoming informed and making decisions??!!)
Seth and I have just started learning about vaccinations. We don't know where we stand but we are curious about our options... We wonder about what vaccinations are absolutely MOST important, what are side effects, what about alternative schedules and why do some people choose this way to vaccinate, what vaccines we may need to update, and the questions continue on...
We recently read this article from the New York Times that we found a bit interesting. I've since seen this man referenced in a bit of reading I have been doing.
The Vaccine Book by William and Martha Sears
- So far, the book seems to be laying out the information for each of the vaccines and the diseases/germs they provide immunity to, explaining what they are for, what they are made of, when they can be given and even when it might be best to give them, the potential side effects. I've barely started it, so I don't have too much else to say but a few other topics covered in the book include: Combining vaccines, safety, side effects over all, autism link research, ingredients, and alternate vaccine schedules.
I also picked up the book What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children's Vaccinations by Stephanie Cave. I haven't even attempted to open this book yet, so I can't say much about it at this point. And I got a DVD called Vaccinations? Assessing the Risks and Benefits, which we haven't watched yet, so again I can't say anything about it either at this point.
I asked one of our midwives if she had references of classes or information sessions where we can learn more about vaccines and she suggested an information seminar that is done locally every month through the website www.naturalchildbirthclinic.com. We'll definitely be checking that out (wished I'd have asked last week because this month's seminar was last week... now we'll have to go with the baby...)
